4 Chord Song LIVE! - Axis of Awesome Cover

Build a stage in any venue!

She Said. By Aubrey Parsons (Plan B Cover).

The First Dance - Wedding Songs

Aubrey sings your first dance!

The first dance.
I'm guessing that some of you reading this got engaged over the Christmas period.
It's never too soon to start planning your wedding and if you're an old romantic at heart (like me) then you want a song performed at your first dance that will mean something to both of you for the rest of your lives...

Find out more about Aubrey the wedding singer by clicking here!

Whether you are planning an intimate sweep across the dance floor or a choreographed performance that would put Diversity to shame, there is no denying the significance of a couple’s ‘first dance’ as man and wife.

I have been singing at wedding parties for over 25 years and one thing that strikes me is the importance that couples place on their first dance. Lets face it, the first dance will be remembered for the rest of your lives. Fast-forward 30 years down the road, and every time you hear 'that song', it will transport you back to a magical moment during a very magical day - That's the idea anyway!

A quick search of the internet will reveal a number of web sites dedicated to 'First dance choreography classes' and 'Favourite first dance songs' and there are a number of quite famous first dance videos on YouTube. One of the most famous UK based wedding dance videos was filmed at Fonmon Castle, near Cardiff Wales Airport - a venue that I perform at regularly. It shows Julia and James performing a routine from the film 'Dirty Dancing' and has (at the time of writing) received nearly 10 million hits; which in return has led to the couple appearing on a number of TV shows - but you don't have to go that far!

A quick history lesson.
The tradition of the first dance seems to be modern European and American one. I made a quick survey of previous clients and asked them to ask their parents if they'd had a first dance and it turns out that very few of them did. Those that did, performed a quick waltz around the room echoing the origins of the first dance  which was usually performed at old-fashioned balls by the guests of honour and signified the commencement of dancing for the evening, and was certainly not a choreographed or surprise routine!  In the past most people attending a ball would have been taught how to dance as a matter of etiquette - a skill few of us have these days. Therefore the modern wedding first dance seems to be an additional confirmation of the couples love, and unless the couple have some ball-room dancing skills or they have put a routine together, then it is generally an intimate 'shuffle' around the dance floor.

Nowadays, the trend seems to be that more and more people are opting to have a first dance and they are placing more importance on it. 25 years ago when I first started performing at weddings not many people would bother with a first dance. I offer a bespoke service where I will work with the couple to make sure they get exactly what they need for their all important first dance.


Choosing the right song for the first dance.
As couple, it's worth spending some time choosing a song that means something to both of you. If you are intending to have a first dance (and not everybody does), then make sure that whoever is performing or playing the song has at least a few weeks notice so that they can ensure they have the correct version of the song prepared. There are so many different versions and mixes of songs it's important that you specify exactly which version you want played. Some couples like to have the original version of the song played by the DJ whilst others opt for the song performed live by the band or singer. I favour the later as it adds a little extra to the first dance. I also offer to record the first dance song for the happy couple and I upload the track to a web site so they can download it at their pleasure!

Performing the perfect first dance.
If you are going to choreograph a dance, make sure the band, singer or DJ has exactly the same version that you have. In fact it is always worthwhile sending a copy of the song in advance so it can be downloaded on to the music system that the DJ or band is using. Don't give the DJ a CD on the day. For various technical reasons you can't rely on a CD playing - especially if it has been copied or burned on a computer.

It seems that most ladies are quite comfortable on the dance floor, but the poor old groom is often left weak kneed at the prospect of having to 'perform' in front of his friends and family. On the anxiety / nervousness scale, the first dance comes in at third place behind the wedding ceremony and the speech. In reality, everyone just wants to see you staring into each others eyes whilst enjoying the music. No one really cares if you put on a full blown routine or just stand on the dancefloor holding each other!

After years of performing at weddings I've found the best time for the couple to have their first dance is after the buffet (if they are having one). This gives evening guests chance to mingle with the day guests and lets everyone 'relax' until it's time to start dancing! 5 minutes before the first dance I make an announcement to all the guests to make sure they have their cameras ready and to gather around the dance floor. This works as both a heads up for anyone who might be thinking of sneaking off for a cigarette, and it gives the bride and groom chance to get near the dance floor.

In recent years the trend has been for couples to dance to a choreographed dance routine. So I often have to supply them with a pre-recorded version of me singing the song for them to dance to. This ensures that the version I am going to sing has all the same timings as the version they are rehearsing with. As I mentioned, there are a number of web sites advertising wedding choreography and it's become quite a lucrative business. However, in nearly all cases the couples who have opted for a choreographed dance seem more stressed about the dance than about any other part of the day. In one case the couple abandoned their set piece just before they were about to do it and opted to shuffle around the dance-floor in each others arms - which was just as endearing!

Starting the live music or disco right after the first dance is a great way of kick starting the party. Everyone is concentrated around the dance floor and in many cases the bride and groom ask people to join them halfway through their first dance so it's a great ice-breaker to get people boogieing the night away.


Tips for a great first dance.
To achieve a romantic and well-executed first dance, I recommend following....

1. Prepare: In order to make your first dance a memorable one (and not for the wrong reasons) make sure that your singer or DJ is well briefed on the song you have selected and the mood you want to create, whether this be light hearted, serious or even funny. This will give whoever is performing the song the chance to thoroughly prepare and make sure the music is seamless. I work closely with couples to make sure they get exactly what they want out of their first dance.
2. Pick a song that’s right for you both: I find that the song choices work best when they reflect the couple’s personalities and resonate with their relationship. Perhaps certain lyrics really stand out or a song takes you back to a special shared memory. However, you must bear in mind you ultimately have to dance to the song - so there’s no point in choosing an up-tempo number if your partner has two left feet!
3. Forget cool, go with what YOU love: Don’t be afraid to choose something that’s cheesy, tacky or a little risqué! The day is all about you Who cares if you’ve chosen a Westlife number, or if you've shocked aunty Maureen with your intimate slow dance to an RnB track.
4. Dance lessons: In general, ladies seem more comfortable dancers than men. So if you're that bothered about messing up your big moment, take a few dance lessons together. Not only will this help to put you both at ease but it will also guarantee quality 'couple-time' in the busy run up to the wedding. 
5. Timing: This may seem trivial but timing is key. After years of performing at weddings I've found the best time for the couple to have their first dance is after the buffet (if they’re having one). This gives evening guests a chance to mingle with the day guests and lets everyone 'relax' until it's time to start  dancing. Also if you are not comfortable performing in front of your guests throughout the entire song then tell the DJ or singer to encourage your guests to join you half way through. I have performed at many weddings where the bride and groom have opted to do this and it helps set the couple at ease and involve the wedding party.

A list of first dance wedding songs.
From the timeless classics to the contemporary chart songs I've compiled a list of the most requested first dance tracks I have performed at weddings over the last 25 years...

The top 5: Timeless classics

1. Let there be love - Nat king Cole
2. Stand by me - Ben E King
3. Don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith
4. Three times a lady – The Commodores
5. Let's stay together - Al Green (I was actually singing this song at a gig when Al Green walked in!)

The top 5: Current tracks

1. Thinking out load - Ed Sheeran
2. The greatest day – Take That
3. To make you feel my love – Adele
4. Don’t stop believing - Journey
5. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

The Top 5: Wild Cards

1. Burning love – Elvis
2. Gimme some loving – The Blues Brothers
3. Ain’t Nobody – Chaka Khan
4. Tiny Dancer – Elton John
5. Me and Mrs Jones – Billy Paul

Putting a show together and giving great performances every time.

This blog applies to solo singers, duos, bands... In fact any type of live musical performance.


Your audience knows what it wants.


Simple really but this fact is overlooked by so many acts and singers. If you want to be a successful artist singing cover songs, there is no point in picking all your favourite songs and going out and performing them thinking everyone has the same taste in music as you. For me it was a difficult and frustrating hill to climb when I first started working as a solo singer. I thought everyone would love the songs that I loved - but I was very wrong. Different people like different music - and nine times out of ten you will be performing to people who want to be entertained. They want to sit back and be impressed by someone singing songs they know. They want to dance and sing along to familiar songs, and they can't do that with obscure tracks that they've never heard before. So before you start putting a show together, you can forget all of those amazing album tracks that you love. Stick to mainstream well-known songs and you won't go wrong.

Know your onions!

Every gig that you perform will be different. You will have a mixed demographic of people at every one; different age-groups, social backgrounds, levels of education, ethnic and regional up-bringing etc. All of these factors contribute to how you should think about your audience. There is no point turning up to a gig expecting to play exactly the same set list as the previous gig and getting the same reaction from the audience! Before you start your performance take time to look around the room. If you get chance, speak to the event organiser and double check what type of music they are expecting. Talk with the punters in the room and ask what they like. Get a feel of the room before you sing one single note. That way you can think ahead as to what type of music might go down well at this particular gig. Judge the room and act accordingly. If necessary, change your set as you go along. Be prepared to do this at almost every gig. If you can be flexible and read the audience reactions carefully, you should be able to blow any audience away by constantly tweaking your set as the evening goes on.

I've seen many singers walk out onto a stage and perform a 'technically' great gig - but they let themselves down by not taking any notice of how the audience is reacting to the songs. Even major name artists will rarely go out and perform songs that no one knows - and if you have ever been unlucky enough to go to a gig where the dreaded words are spoken:- 'We're about to play a few songs from our forthcoming album...' you will have heard the inward sigh that rises from the audience who are about to be subjected to a load of songs they don't know...

Your show can depend on the type of booking you are performing at.

The show that you give will depend largely on the type of booking and the venue you are performing in.
Gigs can be roughly split into four main categories:

Pub gigs - Generally the most relaxed gig of all. They are a great place to interact with your audience since you will probably be performing almost in the punters faces. Obviously you should always give your best at every gig, but pubs are a great place to hone your skills, try out new material and tweak your show. People will expect you to play some current chart material along with some great classics at pub gigs. You can also rock out a little more than you would at say a wedding or corporate gig - so let your hair down a little.

Social Club Gigs - A bit of a step up from pub gigs in the performance stakes. Quite often a lot is expected of the act in the UK. (see me previous blog 'So you want to gig for a living?') Turn up nice an early. Gear set by 7.30pm. You are expected to be smartly dressed in 'stage attire'. First set - Generally ballads followed by bloody bingo, followed by a second set to dance to... You may detect a small amount of animosity in my writing here. I worked clubs for many years and have been watching them slowly decline due to attitudes that are stuck in the past so I don't really have much love to lose over this type of work. However, Club Gigs are a great place to learn your trade. The money isn't great, but it you can keep a social club audience happy you are doing well. You will be expected to mainly play classic tracks, ballads and songs from the 1960's, 1970's and 1980's - if you manage to get anything more modern in then it's probably a re-release or a recent cover of any old classic. Club land loves the likes of Neil Diamond, Celine Dion, Elvis, Shania Twain etc.

Corporate & Hotel gigs - Along with weddings, these are the most lucrative gigs of all but they are also the gigs where you need to be very careful about what you perform and how you present yourself.  You will generally be expected to perform songs that people can dance to, but not necessarily rock out to. Swing, Jazz, rat pack etc. Classics from Sinatra, Jamie Cullum, Michael Buble etc. mixed up with some big ballads and a few sing along s from Neil Diamond and Billy Joel etc.

Wedding / Private parties - Dancing, dancing and more dancing. Basically if you are a guest at a wedding or a private party you don't want to be watching some boring old fart sing songs about old Ireland and lamenting about 'Old Shep'. The punters are there to P.A.R.T.Y. and as an entertainer it's your job to get the whole audience on the dance floor bopping their socks off. You want everyone leaving the party knackered and sweaty but with a great memory of a great night. So, don't hold back. Be prepared to throw every single classic dance floor tune you can at the audience. Think 'Come on Eileen', 'Love Shack', Burning love', Blues Brothers, Commitments, Soul, Dance, Jive, Rock and roll... Need I go on? Cheese is often the order of the day at parties like this. People aren't there to be impressed by a cool singer - they are there to enjoy themselves and have a party and it's your job to do that by making sure your perform the right songs which will allow them to do just that!

So what songs should I perform?

I tried to resist temptation and NOT put a set list of songs that I know works well at almost any gig. However, I've decided that giving you a few set lists will point you in the right direction to help you build your own. Some of my typical set-lists might contain the following songs:-
(Oh, and before anyone starts nit-picking - The examples I give here are versions performed by the singers named - I'm well aware that they may not have penned or performed the original version!)

Pub Set List:
Let me entertain you - Robbie Williams
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
It's not unusual - Tom Jones
Grace Kelly - Mika
Sex on fire - Kings of Leon
Uptown girl - Billy Joel
Shine - Take That
A little respect - Erasure
She said - Plan B
Bat out of hell - Meatloaf
She caught the Katie - The blues brothers
Mustang Sally - The commitments
Life on Mars - David Bowie

Corporate Set List:
Come fly with me - Frank Sinatra
Haven't met you yet - Michael Buble
New York New York - Frank Sinatra
20 something - Jamie Cullum
Mister Bojangles - Sammy Davis Jr
The Way you look tonight - Harry Connick Jr
It had to be you - Harry Connick Jr
Quando quando - Michael Buble
The girl from Ipanema - Frank Sinatra
Strangers in the night - Frank Sinatra
I've got you under my skin - Michael Buble
Ain't that a kick in the head - Robbie Williams
Beyond the Sea - Robbie Williams

Wedding/party set:
Let's stay together - Al green
My first my last my everything - Barry white
Shake your tail feather - The Blues Brothers
It's not unusual - Tom Jones
The greatest day -- Take That
Pretty woman - Roy Orbison
Can't take my eyes off you - Andy Williams
Twist and shout - The Beatles
Lets twist again - Chubby Checker
500 miles - The Proclaimers
Local boy in the photograph - The Stereophonics
Johnny B Goode - Chuck Berry
Sweet Caroline - Neal Diamond
I believe in a thing called love - The darkness
I bet you look good on the dance-floor - Arctic monkeys

You can see that I've included three very different sets here. Each one is designed to reflect the different type of audience that you would have at each venue. However don't be fooled into thinking that you can build a pub set that will work at every pub, or that every corporate event will want swing music! It's a good idea to have these kind of set lists prepared in advance BUT you must always be ready to tweak these sets at a moments notice. Many corporate events start out gently by the end of the evening the audience is generally very drunk and in the mood to dance like a bunch of lunatics to almost anything you can throw at them. And as I mentioned before weddings, love them or hate them, need lots of cheese and lots of up-tempo music and lots of enthusiasm.

Stagecraft & Performance

So you've put an amazing set of songs together, and spend months rehearsing so that you can perform every song to the best of your ability. You've spend time rehearsing with your equipment so you can easily adjust your sound levels to any size or venue without deafening people. you have put on your posh stage clothes and now you are ready to rock.

As the lights are dimmed you walk out onto the stage and you stare at the audience... and you freeze. You haven't quite imagined it to be like this. The audience is looking at you with hungry eyes. There is an air of anticipation in the room that frightens you. You know that you have to perform to the best of your ability or they are going to start throwing things at you. Nasty things. Bottles, cans, sausage rolls, anything they can get their hands on. Time slows down and your legs feel as though they are about to start shaking uncontrollably and your tongue feels like a giant marshmallow which is now stuck to the roof of your mouth. You look like a rabbit stuck in the headlights and by this point, no matter how well you sing, you've just blown the entire gig.

What you just read is a scenario that with a little mental preparation will never happen to you. Once you have completed all of your rehearsals, you need to make sure that you can walk out onto any stage and feel comfortable with your audience right from the kick-off. You must be as prepared as possible in every aspect of performing before you even think about stepping up on stage!

Take a moment to think about every successful performer that you have ever seen. The likes of Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Take That, Plan B and Adele... They don't have some inbuilt magical ability to walk out onto the stage and start being great entertainers. Any successful performer spends months behind the scenes rehearsing, learning their craft, learning their songs and feeling comfortable with a live performance. A person sitting in an audience watching a singer is only seeing very tip of the iceberg. A performer who walks out on stage, moves well, presents themselves well and gives a good show, is somebody who has spent months rehearsing and visualising giving a good performance in front of any kind of audience, and under any kind of pressure, and in any situation. But there is no  substitute for experience. So in addition to all of your practical rehearsals you should spend time visualising your gigs. You can even do this whilst you're on your way to a gig. Imagine yourself giving a fantastic performance - visualise yourself on stage giving it your all, and by the time you walk out on stage you will already have prepared yourself to give that great performance.

There is no harm in working out some patter to help get the audience on your side when you first walk out on stage. They are expecting YOU to be the performer and not them. Therefore you need to look as comfortable as possible the minute you walk out on stage and that includes being able to talk to your audience in a friendly manner that will make them warm to you from the offset. A word of warning here, never ever berate your audience in anyway. If they are not being the wonderfully responsive audience that you would like them to be, don't be tempted to slag them off. By doing so you will immediately alienate yourself from every single person in the room. If an audience isn't being responsive, smile sweetly and sing your best songs - they will come around eventually.

A good way to kick off show is by choosing a massive number for your first song. Depending on the type of booking you have will depend on whether you perform a ballad or a flat rock or pop song. Make sure you perform a song that everybody knows and introduce it by saying something like, "Hello my name is ... I'm here to entertain you and that is exactly what I'm going to do!". Then crack on with your first big number.
When I perform I like to leave as short a gap as possible between songs. I find pauses between songs can make your performance scrappy, and I hate those awkward silences where the audience just sits and stares at you whilst you fiddle with your backing tracks to get the next song ready. Make sure you have your playlist prepared at the beginning of the gig - you can always adjust it on the fly throughout the evening. If you do have to talk between songs, or introduce songs, make sure that you know what you're talking about. There's nothing worse than listening to a singer tell you that Robbie Williams wrote 'Mr Bojangles'. Get your facts right about your music! (By the way Mr. Bojangles was written by Gerry Jeff Walker). Also make sure that if you are going to talk about the song you don't just say; "This is one of my favourites.". Explain why it's one of your favourites and maybe a little bit about the song; who it was written by and artists that have covered the song etc. But don't go into too much detail or you will be in danger of boring your audience. They want to hear you sing, not a musical history lecture.

It's important to strike up a rapport with your audience, but don't feel that you have to stand there and tell jokes in between songs unless you are very comfortable with this. Don't be tempted to start telling a joke on the fly and then realise you've forgotten the joke whilst you're halfway through telling it, and try to avoid any rude, crude, racist or risque jokes that might backfire on you.

I was once a singing in a bar in Cardiff when there was a road accident right outside the window of the bar. I was half way though singing Nessun Dorma, when a young man ran out in front of a car and was knocked over. I looked out of the window and saw him lying in the road. I continued singing and when I reached the end of the song I could see that the young man wasn't too badly injured. So I made a comment to the audience that the man lying in the street outside must have thought his time had come because all he would have heard after the screech of tyres would have been the sound of me singing opera and therefore he must have thought he was approaching the pearly gates! Unfortunately what I didn't realise was that most of the people in the bar knew the young man as he was a regular customer. The landlady literally dragged me out to a back room of the bar, screamed at me for five minutes, told me I was insensitive, and asked me to leave the building - which I did with my tail between my legs. I've never made a daft comment on stage since!

Stagecraft is something that you can learn over time, however as I've already mentioned once or twice, preparation is the key to a good performance. Spend as much time as possible choosing and learning your songs, being comfortable using your equipment, and visualising giving great performances. Do all of this and you won't be giving good performances, you'll be giving amazing performances that will ensure repeat bookings!

Rock on.